Perks of working for the company that owns NBC

I was in a training session today for a software tool that GE has available to it's employees. It was pretty uneventful until they used as an example of the tool the internal document site for the Conan O'Brian Show. Over my lunch hour I started exploring a little and came across the repository for the last 13 seasons worth of show transcripts. I found some classic "In the year 2000" bits which are some of my favorite things ever. Here are a couple of good ones.

1.IN THE YEAR 2000 AFTER GETTING MORE IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEMININE SIDE, MR.
T WILL OPEN A HAIR SALON CALLED, "I PRETTY THE FOOL."


2. IN THE YEAR 2000 ATHEISTS WILL WIN A LANDMARK COURT BATTLE MAKING IT ILLEGAL TO SAY GOD BLESS YOU AFTER SOMEONE SNEEZES.
INSTEAD, THE LAW WILL REQUIRE US TO SAY, "YO, ZIPPY, YOU JUST
SPRAYED ME WITH SOME NASTY."

3. IN THE YEAR 2000 KIRSTIE ALLEY WILL CALL A PRESS CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE THAT SHE'S FULL, THEN SAY "PSYCH," AND EAT SIX REPORTERS.