This is why nobody likes you...

...and by you I mean Kevin Federline. Apparently he's looking to start his own children's clothing line because he's tired of paying $200 a pair for toddler jeans. He's frustrated that he buys his kids a pair of True Religion and then they roll around in the dirt and ruin them. I love the fact that he seems to think he is some kind of defender of the common man who will finally provide us with a reasonably priced trouser that people can actually afford in todays economy. Miss Moneypenny...take a letter:

Dear Mr. Federline,
Thank you for your efforts on behalf of our struggling economy. Your plan to market affordable childrens clothing is indeed a a good one. Unfortunately, as is so often the case, your great idea has been beaten to market by every other manufacturer of children's clothing in the history of the known world. However, as you seem to be an enterprising young man I have compiled a short list of things that perhaps you could focus your efforts on developing solutions for. They are as follows:

1. A source of nourishment other than caviar. That stuff is so rich and kind of gross. Plus it's like $100 an ounce!
2. A method of air travel that is cheaper than first class. There is a ton of room in the back 3/4 of the airplane. Couldn't they add a bunch more seats, maybe put them closer together and maybe charge for the drinks or something and then charge less for those tickets?
3. A clean, reliable automobile that doesn't cost $100k. I mean seriously...can nobody challenge Bentley for dominance in the auto industry?
4. A refreshing beverage that costs less than $400 a bottle. I mean I love Cristal as much as the next guy but it just seems wasteful to crack open a bottle every time i want to sit down with a caviar sandwich and watch Entourage.

I hope you will consider bringing some of your considerable resources to bear on one or more of these issues as a potential next project. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance to you. I salute you and wish you all the best as you further the cause of modern douchebaggery.

With warm regards,
T. Montgomery Wilkensen, Esq.
Senior Vice President of Douchebaggery
The World