ooooooooooouuuuuucccchhhhh!!!!!!!

If you've ever wondered how much it would hurt to get a large tattoo on the back of your calf, here's a quick little equation you can use to figure it out. Take the worst pain that you've experienced in the past 10 years or so and multiply by 5. It's been 5 years or so since I got my first tattoo and apparently I had forgotten the amount of pain that's involved. Thankfully the guy who did mine was really cool and definitely knew what he was doing. It looks awesome and it only took him around half an hour or so. He basically did the outline today and when I save up the money he's going to color it in for me. I actually kind of like it the way it is though...I'm not sure if I'm going to color it in or not.

I'm so stoked...

For two reasons...first of all, I'm getting inked tomorrow. I'm getting this Japanese Koi fish tattooed on the back of my leg. It's going to be bad a$$. Here's a picture of what it will roughly look like. Mine will most likely be a black and grey piece since I don't have enough loot to go all color like I would like to. At any rate, it's going to hurt like a mamma jamma but it will be worth it when it's done.

2nd, I'm going to see the concert that I've been waiting to come to Wichita since J-Dog turned me on to the hardcore music scene back in '04 with Demon Hunter. Sunday night Underoath, Poison the Well and As Cities Burn are going to freaking tear down the Cotillion. I seriously can't wait...

some random thoughts

First of all...there's a new baby at our house. It's so awesome, I forgot how incredible they are. If you don't have one, you need to get one...go ahead...I'll wait. It will literally take your breath away the first time you hold him/her. Ours is a girl. Rather than put up my own pics you can see them here...http://www.xanga.com/justcallmemaya. When I was watching the nurse clean her up I was just thinking "I can't believe you can make these things at home" like she was a kit that I bought at Hobby Lobby or something. Anyway, she is amazing...

2nd, I had kind of a profound thought today when I was having lunch with my son at his school. I was sitting at the table with him and all of his little friends when I noticed a kid sitting all alone at a table across the cafeteria. I asked Conner why that little boy was sitting all by himself. He said "That's Sammy. He hits people". The kid sitting across from me chimed in "He screams too". Even though it's really sad that this little boy has to eat all by himself, in the end it boils down to a basic truth that can be applied in most situations that our world faces today. Here it is...If you scream and hit people you have to eat by yourself. Think about how much better our world would be if people would just stop screaming and hitting people. It's a simple concept kids...Think Globally, Act Locally.

Thirdly, I came across something that at first glance was so nasty I couldn't believe I was seeing it. I'm going to show you two screen shots from the MSN web page. The first I have titled Nasty.jpg (for obvious reasons). You will notice the area in the lower left hand corner that has been circled in red. The combination of the visible portion of the picture and the tagline "Escape to the Beach" were what caught my eye. Take a careful look at picture one and tell me it's not the nastiest thing you've ever seen. Then scroll down and look at picture number 2, which is what was visible on the web page once you scrolled down a bit. In the end, it turns out to be a horrible misinterpretation of a partial image. That being said, it would behoove the folks at MSN to pay a little more attention to things like screen size and resolution and how things will look if you can only see half of the picture.

Picture one (click to enlarge)



Picture 2 (Click to enlarge)

These guys are coming to Wichita next Sunday night and I can't wait...

http://www.underoath777.com

Dog Whisperer

Thanks to J-Dub for calling Comedy Central and personally requesting that repeat of the episode of South Park where Cartman's mom calls in the Dog Whisperer because he's out of control. That was muey bueno.

Happy Birthday to me

With the annual celebration of the day I was born coming up on Sunday I've been hearing lot's of people ask me what I would like for my birthday. In order to make this easy on everybody, I've decided to post a list online. Think of it as a registry of sorts. And remember...I'm doing this for you...to make your life easier.

1. A new hat - here's a couple of options. Hurley and Independent Truck Company hats are cool. So is Volcom and Spitfire (Yeah..it's skater stuff and no I've never ridden a skateboard in my life. Don't worry about it.) Also KU or Wichita State. I wear a size 7 3/4...I have a large melon
2. I need a new wallet. But not some old man wallet... maybe one with with a chain on it or something. Here's a good example of something I would be down with.
3. Currency (preferably U.S.)
4. Books are good

Don't spend a bunch of money...and don't feel like you have to get me something. These are just some suggestions for the people who've asked me.

Increase the peace...

one more thing

one thing I forgot to mention...I saw MC Hammer in the Atlanta airport. He was just walking through concourse C in a pure white suit and white shoes. No entourage or anything - just chillin' - I'm 98% sure it was him.

twice as sad

I was at the mall today and I saw something that struck me as really sad. I saw an Emo kid in a wheelchair. She was the real deal too - My Chemical Romance hoody, black hair, checked vans, the whole 9 - just rollin through Town East in her wheelchair. So not only was she full of angst - she was crippled too. Doesn't that just seem twice as sad as just being a regular old depressed emo kid?

it was a rough night...

We're gonna just pick up where we left off...you haven't missed much. So anyway... yesterday started out pretty good but ended very, very ugly. I had to fly to Cincinnati for a business trip on Thursday. Everything was going well. Nice rental car, good meals, great hotel...even the flight to Cincinnati (through Houston by the way - how stupid is that? That's like driving through Dallas to get to Wichita from Derby) was pretty good. A little rough but nothin' too fierce. I got in to town at a decent hour and had a pretty good meal and a good night's sleep. The flight home on Friday evening is where things start to go south for ol' T-bone. First of all, I'm flying on Delta. Do yourself a favor and just never do this. I would suggest that you either rent a car or stow away in the steerage section of a Chinese junk steamer or a luxury ocean liner like they did in Titanic. You could even hop a freight train like Alf and Willie Tanner did in that classic episode. Any of these options would be preferable to flying on Delta airlines.

My flight from Cinci to Atlanta was on a 767 which is a nice plane, but unless you're in first class you are so cramped that there's literally not even enough space between you and the seat in front of you to fully open a laptop computer, let alone cross your legs or more more than a few inches. And since the seat next to me was of course occupied, I was so cramped that I couldn't even keep my seat up - I kept mashing the button to recline it with my leg. This resulted in me trying to balance myself on one cheek during the takeoff and landing so I didn't incur the wrath of the stewardess who was not @$#%@# around as they say regarding FAA safety guidelines. Also the plane took off half an hour late because there weren't any pilots in Atlanta who could fly the plane to Newark for it's next leg so we were actually on the runway waiting for another pilot to drive into the airport so he could get on our plane and fly to Atlanta with us.

So when we finally get to Atlanta I've got about 20 minutes to get from my gate in terminal T to terminal C...(if you're keeping score at home, that's a long freaking hike even with the trams and moving sidewalks). So I get to my gate with about 30 seconds to spare before they start boarding my flight from Atlanta to the ICT. I get on board and prepare for a 2 and half hour flight with my knees in my chest. In the meantime, the Gold Coast coconut shrimp and the Gin and Tonic(s) I had at the Outback Steakhouse in the Cincinnati airport have combined in my stomach to create something akin to Hurricane Katrina. I'm talking Category 5 gut-busting belly cramps. I was about to ask the stewardess if she had any Midol (but based on her attitude I'm pretty sure she's never heard of the stuff).

Needless to say by the time we went wheels down in Wichita, I was ready to go home and hopefully catch the end of the KU game. So I go to the baggage claim to claim my borrowed suitcase (thanks K-dog). If you've ever waited at a baggage claim after a flight, you'll be familiar with the scene I'm about to describe. I'm standing there watching all of the suitcases come through the plastic curtain and down the conveyer. After a few minutes of not seeing my bag, I start to get nervous but I'm not panicking yet. Then I start to realize that I've seen the same bag twice now and still haven't seen mine. I start to get that sick feeling in my stomach now (this is not related to the shrimp). I realize at this point that even though I made my connection in Atlanta apparently my bag hasn't. So I walk to the other end of the airport to the Delta counter and there is nobody there. The lights are off, it is now approximately 10:30pm. I call Delta Airlines 800 number to report my bag missing. I am told by Haji at their call center in Bangalore, India that I have to open a missing bag claim at the airport and can't do it over the phone. I tell him "There is nobody here from Delta. The lights are off and they've gone home." I spend the next 30 minutes arguing this point with him. He tells me his supervisor is trying to contact somebody at Delta. I tell him "I can hear the phone ringing at the Delta ticket counter. There is nobody there to answer it." This goes on for another 10 minutes or so and they finally decide that I'm telling the truth and decide to open a lost baggage case for me over the phone. So I leave the airport expecting that my bag will probably be delivered to me this morning. It's 8:20pm right now and as of 30 minutes ago Delta still doesn't know where my bag is. The upshot is that if they can't find it within 5 days I can file a claim to be reimbursed for the contents (which include my black suit, a new dress shirt, two ties, my dress wingtips, my watch, my travel case, a pair of jeans, and 2 t-shirts). And according to their website, it will only take them 8-10 weeks to mail me a check.

Be sure and check out my new website - www.deltaairlinescansuckmyback.com. It will be up soon...

Brokeback Mountain redux

ok, I don't know what happened to it but my post from Saturday dissapeared. I won't even try to re-create it because it was lightning in a bottle...pure comic gold that can't be respun. I will repost the video clips because I think they're clever. As an added bonus, I'm going to link a couple of other clips that I think are also very clever. It's a really brilliant illustration of how deceptive video can be especially in the editing process. Just remember...when you watch a movie...you're seeing what they want you to see not necessarily what really happend. Enjoy